My thoughts on the Stewardship of Mothers

 
 In my circle of "friends", there are many women who are praying for their husband's heart to soften toward the idea of adding another child to their family.

In my years of experience and observation, I've never really known of many husbands to go around saying to their wives, "Oh honey, I think we should do this, let's please add another child or two or three to our family!" 

Not even among the good and Godly men.

Since the beginning of time, woman has been instrumental in bringing about the family of man. When Adam and Eve were sent from the garden out into the world, Eve was told to bring forth children and Adam was told to work and provide for them.

Traditionally, as God ordained, the woman is the mother, the one who spends most of her time with the children, nurturing, feeding, washing and teaching them.   
Traditionally, as God ordained, the father is the one who goes to work and provides for his family... thus naturally causing him some alarm at the thought of providing for more children.

Both parents are giving service which is love, both interact with their children and of course both parents are responsible for their children's moral and religious example and training until they are grown (and after that we keep on loving and praying for them).

But here is a thought whispered gently to me by the Spirit: When it comes to knowing when it's time to add another child, it is the Mother's stewardship. It is a spiritual, God-given gift to women.

It's natural for a woman to be the one who wants another child. 

Heavenly Father's desire for his children is for them to have loving families.

Of course we must use wisdom. Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to run faster than we are able. But He does expect us to grow.

Women should pray for their husbands and do all they can to bless their lives. Respect and support them in their callings and stewardships. Never say gossipy things--never ever on facebook or other social networking methods! Be trustworthy with his heart.  Be cheerful and find time to go out alone together with your husband once a week.

Men should pray for their wives and respect their callings and stewardships. Ask your Father in Heaven in humble and sincere prayer, in your own words and on your knees, to give you instruction about how your family should be grown. Ask a specific question and end your prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. Then wait and listen for peace, warmth, or joy. It may not be immediate but if it's right, you will receive an answer in a way you will understand.

The Lord provides for his children. I know this. If you're doing what's right, He will bless you.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Here is a talk you may find helpful, by President Hinckley, titled: "These, Our Little Ones" 

Breakfast with Garrett

During my recent trip to New England to visit Milly, Ben and their children, I had several occasions to spend some quality time with my almost three-year-old grandson, Garrett.


One morning Garrett and I were having a quiet breakfast together at his kitchen table. I sliced some oranges for him and after he'd tasted them he said, "They're kinda tart!"
I chuckled and cleared my throat, not used to hearing such eloquent conversation from toddlers. 
"What did you say?" Garrett asked.
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" I responded.
"No, what did you say after that?" Garrett insisted.
"SpongeBob SquarePants!" I said.
"And then what did you say?"
"Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!"
"And what did you say after that?"
"SpongeBob SquarePants!"
"And then what did you say?"
SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob-Square-PANTS!"
......pause......
Garrett asked again, "What did you say?"
I answered, "I'm just thinking, Garrett. Sometimes it's good to just think."
I opened my mouth to say something else and he quickly said, "Think some more."
 

I am thankful to be a mother

I've felt for many years that my mission in life is being a mother. I am a mother to my seven biological children who are now grown (ages 21-33 at this moment), and to our four young children with Down syndrome (currently ages 3-11).

Will I ever be finished having children? No. I am--happily--what some term "an eternal mother". Babies and little ones will always be a part of my life in some way, including grandchildren.

Who do I love best? I love each of them, they are each so dear to my heart, whether born of my body or adopted, they are all my beloved children. I believe it is that way with our Father in Heaven; He loves each of us.

Why am I posting this? Because I feel the need to. One never knows exactly what the future holds. I want you to know of my love. I want my children to feel my embrace: even though I may not be near you or be able to give you a hug in person; many of you are now grown and live far away and I don't see you as often as I wish I could. The swellings of my heart are intense.

What changes will come about in our family in the future? I don't know. To my children: I will always be your mother. I love you no matter what! 

Will I be mother to additional children in the future? I don't know. But those of you who know me, know that I'm pretty tenacious. I see the suffering of little children who are waiting for mothers and fathers... and once our eyes are opened, we are responsible to act. I don't like to put limits on what God can ask of me. He is the great "mission president", the Father of all, the one who knows what is best. I want what He wants for my life. For our lives.

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I am so thankful that He loves us, atoned for us and overcame the world. This gives me strength and hope! Three sentences there, but they speak volumes for how I view life. The Savior taught us to love one another. He said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of Heaven." And He said, "For inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me."

I have a birthday coming in a couple of weeks. I haven't paid much attention to my chronological age because my life is different than most in my peer group and age doesn't figure. I recently did the math. It turns out I thought I was a year older than I really was all of this past year, so now I get to be that age all over again! I get another year, what a miracle! ;o)

Love and blessing to you all!
Dolores

In Memory of Mama

Three years ago on the 11th of April, my mother passed away because of cancer. She'd been sick since that January, and had gradually stopped being able to eat very much. In March the surgeon went in to take out her gall bladder. The surgeon found that there was cancer and it had spread throughout her body. A rare cancer of the gall bladder, which we learned is a commonality between Jews and Native Americans. Native American heritage is in her geneology.

My vibrant Mama was losing abilities so quickly, we were all in shock and denial. After two weeks she came home on hospice...she had one fair day on Thursday when several of us kids gathered and sang to her and she was awake for most of that... then she passed away on Saturday morning, the day before Easter that year.

Losing Mama was very hard. Three years later, remembering Mama during all of her healthy years is still a joy. She was a loving person, always hugging and bringing into her embrace her kids, grandkids, great-grandkids and many, many other people.  I know she's in a wonderful place now, busily helping in the Lord's work. I often feel her influence when I'm down or maybe not being as patient as I should be. Mama was a wonderful example. I love you, Mama!

Joel's "trip in truck"

Some of you have asked me how Joel is doing. It's kind of hard to explain. He is more medically fragile than before, ever since he was in Congestive heart failure in Feb 2011 and had to have a larger artificial valve put in. His lungs, asthma and heart issues keep him from exercising very much, his immature chewing ability and extremely limited food choices add to his weight problem; it's a vicious cycle. He isn't growing in height, his weight goes up and down only a little, some is water weight. Cold and hot weather trigger his problems as do exertion and illness.

Joel was in crisis Friday by the time I arrived home from taking Timmy to the dentist, his PA alerted me by text moments before I got there. As the evening progressed he got worse and was eventually ambulanced to Children's from our local hospital (again), where we were finally able to settled in at 5:00 am to sleep. Joel needed a tune-up, and was then sent home again. Easter Sunday was necessarily a day of rest.

Here's the way it seems, the way I interpret what the doctors said: The new normal for Joel's lungs is abnormal; his heart has another stenosis, we learned about that last month. He's on oxygen on and off in the days, always at night at varying liters, along with his bipap.

There are days when I feel like sobbing in great bursts but I mustn't. I know that Heavenly Father knows the number of Joel's days and what he needs to accomplish here. I KNOW that, I have a testimony of it, the Holy Ghost has born witness of this to me. But it's very hard to see your child suffer repeatedly, and never know when it will strike again. He cries out in his exhausted airy voice when they're struggling to get an IV into his weary veins again, and quotes, "Gimme a chance!" or "It not fair!" and I'm standing there helping to hold him. I wish I could change things for him. I REALLY do!

Oh my Joel boy, little Mister, how we love you!

Since October in one post

We enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas, praise the Lord! Since Christmas, Joel has had illnesses off and on (including an itchy rash we've tried everything we and the doctors can think of for) and was admitted to Children's by ambulance for breathing problems in March. It turned out to be pneumonia and some congestive heart failure (he has a new stenosis in a different valve, not the artificial one). With antibiotics, IV Lasix, and lots of prayers, he was able to be discharged in four days, a record!

Timmy has a few words that he can say clearly now. He likes to have the iPad with him at all times because he can see the screen up close. Much of the time he looks up at the ceiling instead of at us, we're afraid his vision is worse than they think...he'll wear his glasses at school and for short periods of time at home, but they usually become broken at home because of the younger kids : ( and we notice that he looks over the lenses most of the time. I hope to try the Mira-Flex glasses with him the next time around.

Timmy is a sweet boy and loves people. The challenges we have with him are trying to get him to eat--he's still fed by g-tube, is very thin and has pretty severe oral aversion. Tim won't allow us to brush his teeth and so they're awful. The dental hygienist explained to me today, that because he doesn't eat, the stuff on his teeth isn't knocked off even a little by the food. They tried cleaning his teeth without anesthesia today and thought better of it quickly. This is one strong, wiry little guy! I fear being judged because of Timmy's dental state (they'll only clean them once a year under anesthesia), but I have to say, "unless you've walked a mile in my shoes..." Timmy is a lovable and stubborn little boy!

Ella has new glasses! We went for the Mira-Flex type that are all bendy rubber-- so far so good. She's wearing them for a little while each day. We get some eye contact from Ella especially when singing songs to her (and when she looks in the mirror she babbles) and she still participates in music, likes to flip pages in books and loves food. This is one kid who knows how to make you feel good about making dinner!

Our efforts to keep gluten away from her are going well except she will still sometimes grab something from someone else and stuff in a mouthful before we can get to her. The numbers were much lower at her lab and she's had a major growth spurt. Potty training on a schedule is moving right along, but she doesn't let us know she needs to go as she has no language except the word "no!" and only uses the sign for "more". Ella is affectionate to the people she knows, I love having her come sit beside me like she does, even at the dinner table, she'll move her chair as close as she can to mine, so that our arms are against each other.

We know when Ella doesn't like something--believe me! She still struggles with transitions and going to new places, having new experiences outside of our home. On the days that we have to take her to appointments, we come home physically exhausted from chasing, holding and helping her calm down. We also know when Ella DOES like something, because she shows it with her whole being. She smiles, and laughs, and wiggles and shares her joy. How can you resist a child like that?

Lucy is as cute as can be and as active as they come! She loves to be involved in everything. She loves to draw on everything (another budding artist), wrestle with everyone, take things out of drawers, flush things down toilets, she's very impulsive, etc. etc, you get the picture! The challenge is to keep her busy with a job to do. Little down time for us ;o).

Lucy can speak in short sentences and amazes us daily. She likes to be in charge and has already taken the role of older sister with two of the kids. 

We expect great things from this little girl!

We have a new granddaughter!!! Vivian Ophelia Ramsey was born to our daughter Milly and her husband, Ben, on March 19th, 2012. A beautiful baby girl who will be sister to our grandson Garrett, almost 3. I will get to go visit them this month, the Lord willing. I can't wait!

As far as selling this house and buying or building another, we're still working on that, but we can't seem to get ahead...things keep happening. So much to do, so little time. Love you!

Easter Seals and Autism

Two of our children have been to Easter Seals and after long, cumulative efforts and evaluation by an interdisciplinary team, Ella and Joel have been officially diagnosed with Autism. We have suspected for several years, but to have an official medical diagnosis is helpful...and hard.  We hope that this will help them in the schools as well as otherwise. There is no more just wondering and guessing, we know. God, give us the grace to accept the things we cannot change. And please, if you see fit, bless us with an Autism service dog!
http://www.4pawsforability.org/dream.html#EllaWynkoop